Self Care is a thing in 2017, because you actually NEED it. Here’s how to avoid Breakdown Britney and take care of yourself

by and Carla Mouton and Iske Conradie

You have it rough sister. 2017 is not a joke. EVERYTHING is fast. Your food. Your socials. Your brain. And that constant internet-induced FOMO makes you feel like you’re never productive enough, no matter how much you’ve got going on.

The thing is, you’re not getting a break. Welcome to modern-day life sister. You need to take a break. And that’s called Self Care in 2017.

1. DO THAT WEIRD THING YOU LIKE DOING FOR NO GOOD REASON

Me: “ALL THE SINGLE LADIES OH OH OH…”

Mom: “This is why you’re single.”

Me: “LEMONADE!”

Be like me and use your mic-brush while fake-singing to Beyoncé or grace your dog with a mime performance. Whatever YOU like. It doesn’t need to make sense and it should not be productive.

2. GIVE YOURSELF SOME LITERAL SPACE

Throw on the tunes and reorganise your closet, your desktop or your room. Decluttering your stuff helps declutters more space in your brain, because my goodness, do you need space in that brain of yours with all the things going on.

SPACE! SPACE! SPAAAAACE!

3. (WO) MAN UP AND UNFOLLOW THOSE IRRITATING FACES ON YOUR SCREEN 

You are what you see and seeing Shirley (who low key bullies you) having the fake-time-of-her-life, is not good for you. Also, you don’t need to follow Tod who went to “Ducky Daycare” with you. Except if Tod is cute now. Then he stays.

4. TREAT YOUR BODY, EVEN WHEN YOU THINK IT DOESN’T DESERVE IT

Your body carries you around all day, through all your drama and your self-hate talk, and what does it get? A freakin shower.

I’m talking bubble baths, body scrubs, face masks, whatever makes you feel R&R’d and princess-style-pampered. Because your body has been through enough hate.

5. GIVE YOUR BRAIN AN OUTDOOR-BREAK

It’s basic three-fold science; being outside is great for you.

Direct Sunlight. Exercise. And seeing greenery. All of the above are scientifically proven to improve your mood and your health.

Yes, I know how intimidating the words ‘exercise’ and ‘outside’ may be, but you don’t need to be Martha the marathon runner to enjoy the benefits of being outside. Go play with your 12-year-old jack russell for 15 minutes or sit and read a book in a sunny spot. Voila. Mood improved in the long run.

6. DO YOUR LAUGH-TIME GURLLL

No. A laughing emoji is not a substitute for real laughter. Just because of biology.

Read a comic strip, talk to a potato, go hang out with your gals or your silly dad. Do whatever makes you produce those endorphin-inducing bursts of laughter.

6. WANDER THROUGH SHOPS LIKE IT’S YOUR MAGICAL KINGDOM

Nothing makes me happier than trying on evening gowns. Even if I don’t need them. Even if I can’t buy them. Retail therapy helps, even when you can’t buy a single thing.

Dig through antiques and be captivated by the back stories of dusty, dainty everyday things. Stroll through R1 stores and see how many weird things you can find.

And if you have some cash to spare, treat yourself to something yummy, pretty or Deadpool-poster-cool.

7. Do something all by yourself.

Pick a day and do something fantastic by yourself. Go watch a movie (book a love seat and live like a queen). Stay in and read a whole book all day. Go to the zoo. Have an epic series marathon. It’s truly empowering to do something fun for a whole day by yourself, for yourself.

8. And finally, take a nap!

When in doubt, NAP!