by Jolene Raison
So you’ve got a REAL LIFE boyfriend, but you only see him on a screen? Will it last? Why do you think Cupid has wings. Here’s how to stay close across the miles.
Say it: my boyfriend.
Yes. He is your boyfriend. Not just a guy you like or some guy you text. This is a REAL relationship. Add him to groups so your friends get to know him. Let your family know about him. This love is legit!
So talk about him like that to everyone who’s willing to listen and then to everyone who isn’t.
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Remember, you’re not the only couple doing this.
When you need to remind yourself you can do this, remind yourself that a lot of other people are doing it. If people who live on different continents, who haven’t seen each other in a few years, can make it work, then yeah, you’ve got this.
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Do date nights despite the distance.
Just because you’re not together, doesn’t mean you can’t do stuff, well, together. You can catch a movie at the same time, even if it’s not at the same place.
Or buy a box set or download a series at the same time. For geeks there’s online gaming and for nerds there’s online games, like Scrabble. Or keep it even simpler and read the same book or listen to the same playlist.
Go postal (it’s so freakin exciting!).
I mean do the old-school thing and write letters – yes the kind with envelopes and stamps – and send parcels of goodies. You can’t hug an email, but you might smell his aftershave in that goodie pack.
Plus the suspense of not knowing what’s coming, when something is coming, is soooooo exhilarating! It gives you something to look forward to, especially when you won’t be seeing bae anytime soon.
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Ditch the jealousy.
Which isn’t easy when some girl, with enough cleavage to lose a cell phone in, tags him on FB. Unfortunately, life goes on. No relationship should limit your life, no matter how close or far you are form one another.
He’s not going to swear off parties, sports, gym and stuff that involve girls. And you shouldn’t curl up on your bed as Hermit the Long Distance GF either. You choose to love one another freely, otherwise we do this anyway?
To numb the inevitable stress, give yourself things to look forward to. Do stuff. Make friends. When you’re loving your life it’s easier not to obsess about his.
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Be realistic; the suckiness is real.
Long distance loving isn’t always always easy. The missing is hard. The dreaming of kissing, but never kissing, is hard. Always being the “single” one out with a bunch of couples, is hard. And communicating via technology all the time is hard too.
Some days you’ll feel like chucking the whole thing. But it’s ok to acknowledge that it’s not always going to be ok. You can feel crap sometimes and still feel in love.
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Feel lucky.
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First off, you’ve found something worth fighting for. That’s BIG. Secondly, in a way you can be closer to someone you never see than someone you do. You get to see the really real, deep, secret parts of him, that are easy to miss when you’re dating in-person.
There’s a kind of magic there, somewhere between the longing and missing and hoping and loving.
Plus if you guys ace this, you can ace ANYTHING…