How to be single on Valentines Day (and how to actually enjoy this gross day)
Your guide: how to be single on Valentines Day.
Plus everything else you need to know about single lyfe.
We’re showing you how to be single on Valentines Day, because we know how frustrating today might be for you.
The PDA; the badly-made Teddy Bears; the tacky combos of pink and red; and the fact that you won’t get free presents.
It’s all so gross.
So here’s your guide: how to be single on Valentines Day plus some other useful info:
- How to be single on Valentines Day
- Be single on Valentines Day and actually enjoy it
- Enjoy being single even after Valentine’s Day
- How to break up with someone on Valentines Day
- Get a boyfriend before Valentines Day
- How to stop looking for a boyfriend
How to be single on Valentines Day
Kanye explains …
How to be single on Valentines Day and actually enjoy it
You have two choices here amiga. Either belittle this strange day to the MAX or make it your own.
Option 1: Spend the day dissing gross, stupid Valentine stuff
Why it works: It’s funnnnn! Especially if you have a love-hating friend who you can share your love-hating comments and send you memes all day.
Here are some stuff you can do on Option 1:
- Start with the memes. Find the evilest anti-valentines memes you can, then broadcast it TO EVERYONE. This is a good way to frighten away any love coming your way for the rest of the day.
- Stock up on snacks, go sit in a busy spot and predict every passerby’s love story – out loudly. You can add some smooth jazzy background tunes as well. Get creative. “And so the young lady walked away from the only man who would ever love her as much as she loved taco’s…”
- BEST TIP: Take that love-hating friend of your and go shop for the worst two Valentine’s present ever. Take pictures of them and see who can get the most likes for their present and a supportive 100-word caption on your feels for “Joshy Boy”. Game on.
Option 2: embrace the day of love, roll with it and spoil yourself rotten
Why it works: It’s easy and it’s just nice to get stuff. There’s literally 0 reasons you should not partake in the cheesy celebration of love. Some people get stuff from temporary baes, but you’re stuck loving yourself forever.Put some effort into this long-term relationship and treat yo self.
Here’s some stuff you can do on Option 2:
- Check this list of mad list of self-care treats: SELF CARE 101: 7 WAYS TO LOOK AFTER YOUR DARN SELF IN 2017 and do as many as you can!
- Put effort into a self-date. You can check out these Boredom Beaters or Events in your area.
- Friend it up. You know that friend that’s also single and bored today, drop her a message: “hey friend, this [insert Boredom Beater or Event ] looks fun, want to do it this week?”If she says no, ask your sister. If she says no, bribe her. Or do it alone. It’s time to live like you’re not waiting for a merge.
- BEST TIP: celebrate V-day instead. V-day is a global movement to end violence against women and kids.
How to enjoy being single
– even after Valentine’s Day
- Close your eyes (obvs first finish reading this).
Ask yourself: “why do I not enjoy being single? Is it because I believe the siamese-theory, where lovers form one creepy being and therefore I cannot enjoy myself until I find my missing head?”
Now answer that questions for yourself and reflect like a grownup.
How to get a boyfriend before Valentines Day (if you really want one)
Are you sure you want one, boyfriends can be annoying AF? We wrote about that here.
Okay fine. But don’t come crying to me, when it sucks.
Here’s how to bag a boyf in 4 steps.
1. First, literally just speak to your crush
You need to pick one human sentence and you need to say it to your crush.
Why? Because that’s how homo sapiens work. He cannot smell your devotion to his aesthetics.
Pick anything super easy and just connect one little tiny sentence to the person you dream about.
Next stop: awkward, but awesome smoochin for days!
2. Show bae you’re interested
Here’s how you do it: hide somewhere good, pounce and overwhelm him with hugs.
KIDDING! YOU CREEP. Consent is literally LYFE (and non-consent means jail time).
As usual, Wikihow nails it the proper protocol here.
For all of you who live in cities or those of you not invited to bae’s bday (yet), here’s an easier option:
Give him a nice natural smile…
3. Find out whether he likes you
Here’s an entire post dedicated to the 12 Signs he digs you.
4. If he likes you, but still doesn’t want to be your Valentines?
Then, it’s time to escape the friend-zone…
I kid you not. We’ve also dedicated a whole entire post to this art form: 9 SENTENCES THAT REAK OF THE FRIEND ZONE (AND HOW TO RESPOND)
How to break up with someone on Valentines Day
Don’t. Literally just wait one day and be a decent homo sapien who deserves to be evolved.
Or do, so he can invest all your already-bought presents in a girl who cares about him. He deserves happiness too, you know.
Unless he’s abusive (if he makes you feel like shit about yourself, that’s a form of emotional abuse), then drop him like the girls of Glow, and don’t even wait for Valentines Day.
How to stop looking for a boyfriend
This is when you can’t stop searching. When you’ve become Britain’s Got Talent, judging every passerby on whether they’ve got “something special”.
Luckily the cure is simple, but you only have three options here. How to stop looking for a boyfriend:
-
Look at something else. Here are my go-to’s:
2. Get into BoPo
Get into BoPo. You’re stupid if you think it’s your fault you don’t have a boyfriend. And there’s a whole online community of badass girls dedicated to unlearning that kind of stupid.
So open up that IG app (I know you do it every 5min anyway) and search tags like #thefutureisfemale or #bopo until you find a few accounts that you resonate with.
It might sound stupid, but it has changed MA LYFE!
3. Get married
It’d just be weird if you looked for a boyfriend now.
No, but seriously. Just CHIILLLLL. Prince Charmin is probably just out there “finding himself” and when he does, he will GPS his way to you.
And if he doesn’t, who cares! Just look at ya, being your fine whole self – ready to embark on amazing adventures and not being stupid enough to sit and wait for love doing absolutely nothing with your life!
And just a heads up, life is not a fairy tale (check this > 6 THINGS FAIRYTALES NEVER TAUGHT YOU ABOUT BEING A TEEN GIRL). It’s WAY WEIRDER.
FYI, this post was written by a 20-something married woman, who bagged her high school crush at 17 by smiling untill he found it cute. He still does.