For all you ladies who don’t have a brother, I’m about to share the contents of a guy room and why you shouldn’t just make yourself at home in a man cave…ever.
But first a little disclaimer: I didn’t get this information the “normal” way. You know the first time a guy takes you to his room to show you “something” (probably “making out in the closet”). That’s the normal way right?
Well, I didn’t find out quite that way, because sometimes you’re crushing on your best friend and while you guys are just chilling in the living room, you tell him you’ve got to pee and then you sneak into his room. You find a pencil that looks like a lightsaber and when you come back to the living room, you’re like “I LOVE Star Wars”…
That ended when he found me in his room again sniffing his cologne-infused T-shirt. My best excuse was “I had to blow my nose.”
Anyhow, now I know. So here it is, the 9 things you’ll find in a guy room:
1. Lots and lots of hair – pet hair usually and he probably doesn’t have a pet.
To solve this mystery I have come to the conclusion that all men are werewolves. THAT’S also why they all think they’re hunters and we’re their prey. “I’m NOT Bambi. Go awaaaay!”
2. Something nerdy. Yes, all boys have a little nerd in them.
A Batman poster, maybe 100 PC games or a Darth Vader doll.That sounds like the perfect man RIGHT? Darth Vader, I mean.
3. A jar of coins.
I will never understand this. Are you a pirate? Is that your bank account? Is that what you’re going to use if you need to pay my bail for eating an ice cream before paying for it?!
Underwear EVERYWHERE. #Ew
5. Some weights (that he never uses)
Never. Except when his older sisters’ friends are over. Then he’ll be walkin’ around in the house with, making manly grunts: “Uuuggh, these 2Kg weights are SO heavy.”
6. Dishes and other culinary devices
An old pizza box or a cereal bowl. The possibilities are endless…
7. An unmade bed (except if he has one of those OCD moms)
The OCD mom part goes for the dishes too. So before walking into his house, do a dance whilst chanting into the skies “OCD MOM” and by the time you get to his room it’ll probably be spotless.
8. A beer bottle
Because one time when his mom wasn’t looking, he took one out of the fridge. Ooooh, one badass over here.
9. Random school papers.
I don’t think dudes know that glue or staplers exist or they’re taking a strong stand against paper binding devices, like: “Be free paper, be free, go back to being a tree!”
There you have it ladies. If your experience of a man cave was different (as not all men are the hairy, dish-hoarding types) feel free to add your experience in the comment section below!